Friends Answering Questions...Sort Of

You might wonder why I participate in this application if I don't particularly like it. Well, your guess is as good as mine. Is it part of the social meme of Facebook? Is it an attempt to create a real community? Does anybody care? I like this third option.

So for kicks, I went to my own list of questions about me answered by anonymous "friends", copied the results, and posted the whole caboodle right here. Do people get me right or wrong? Let's see.

Do you think that Emilie Conroy would let you cheat off their paper on a test? Yes

Not damn likely. Go do your own studying!

Do you think that Emilie Conroy is 'smarter than the average bear'? No

Either someone doesn't know me AT ALL or they think this is a drastic understatement.

Do you think that Emilie Conroy is a good friend? No

That would depend on whether or not someone is a good friend to me--and also what the definition of "good" is.

Do you think that Emilie Conroy should have more self-confidence? No

Wow, I must pull off some magic online. I'm a quivering mass of clam jello.

Do you think that Emilie Conroy thinks shopping at Wal-Mart is classy? No

Classy? No. Necessary? Yes.

Do you think that Emilie Conroy still wet their bed in 6th grade? No

I don't think I ever wet my bed at all.

Do you think that Emilie Conroy likes British accents? Yes

I like all accents.

Do you think that Emilie Conroy sends too many Facebook invites? No

I sure try not to bug too many people too often.

Do you think Emilie Conroy was a Dork in high school? No

Thanks, but I was queen of the dorks. Hell, I'm still a dork.

Do you think that Emilie Conroy has ever lied to you? No

I tend to be pretty honest.

Do you think that Emilie Conroy has ever failed a class? No

Actually I failed a class in my first semester of college. But I made it up and all was well.

Do you think that Emilie Conroy looks good in a bathing suit? Yes

It's not the bathing suit, it's how I work it.

Do you think that Emilie Conroy is cute? Yes

Damn straight! ;>P

Do you think that Emilie Conroy has ever used steroids? No
Indeed, these bulging muscles are all natural.

Do you think that Emilie Conroy would let you cheat off their paper on a test? No

Right on.

Do you think that Emilie Conroy is a poser? No

But I posed for the centerfold of Weird Tales once...

Do you think that Emilie Conroy is trailer trash? No

I've tailgated a few times, but I'm not the butt of a Jeff Foxworthy joke.

Do you think that Emilie Conroy can throw a football with a spiral? Yes

In fact I worked to perfect this move.

Do you think Emilie Conroy is cool? Yes

You probably are, too.

Do you think that Emilie Conroy has ever skinny dipped? Yes

There are people here on Facebook who know the truth of this statement.

Do you think that Emilie Conroy would go bungee jumping? Yes

Been there, done that, not all it's cracked up to be.

Do you think that Emilie Conroy is a good athlete? No

Obviously this person hasn't competed with me physically.

Do you think that Emilie Conroy is socially awkward? Yes

Show me an honest person who won't admit to being a little awkward.

Do you think that Emilie Conroy can keep a secret? Yes

True enough. Who the hell would I tell?

Do you think that Emilie Conroy would do anything to succeed? No

I'm professionally ruthless, but I do have limits and ethics.


Do you think that Emilie Conroy has ever kissed a girl? Yes

Aren't we all a little bi somewhere?

Do you think that Emilie Conroy is a scrub? No
Thanks. What's a scrub?

Do you think that Emilie Conroy is smarter than George W. Bush? Yes
That's not saying much.

Do you think that Emilie Conroy has bad breath? No

Love those mints!

Do you think that Emilie Conroy has ever played beer pong? Yes

No. Yes. I don't remember, I was drunk at the time.

Damsel In Distress? Like Hell...

This has mystified me since I reached an age where chivalry and bravado and coming to the rescue as a romantic gesture began to make a little sense. For some reason beyond my ken, I inspire feelings of protectiveness and downright knightly behavior on the part of the men who come into my life. The women, too, but I'm not getting into that right now.

Now come on. I've always been able to stand up for myself whatever the circumstances. I'm no shy, fearful, retiring little flower in need of masculine (or feminine) brawn to shelter me from the icy rain pellets of a big bad world. Shit happens, wise people have said. The art of life is not to avoid shit happening, but rather to navigate through said shit and come out the other side stronger and wiser for the experience. Let me add one more step--AND THEN MOVE ON!

Look, I grieve like most other human beings. I get hurt, and I need time to get over and past the hurt. But my driving philosophy is to move on, whatever the circumstances. At this point in my life (I'll be 39 this year) I've been through enough heartbreak, sickness, and bereavement to know for a fact that life continues on the other side. Through experience I've learned to let go of pain. I hold on to what was good in any situation, bear no grudges, and take the whole as a new building block for the pyramid that is life.

So I've even had guys online coming to my defense, or something to that effect. And you know, I'm grateful to have instilled such love and loyalty in said people. But relax! Things are good for me. I'm not dwelling on what's finished and I don't regret anything I've done. Don't feel the need to rescue this damsel in distress. Why not climb up the tower so we can all celebrate what is basically an exciting and amazing life?

My Life According To Trent Reznor/NIN

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 15 people you like and include me. You can't use the band I used Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "my life according to (band name)".

Pick your Artist: Nine Inch Nails

Describe yourself: Somewhat Damaged

How Do You Feel: Underneath It All

Describe Where You Currently Live: Help Me I Am In Hell

If You Could go Anywhere, Where Would You Go? La Mer

Your Best Friend Is: Big Man With A Gun

Your Family Are: Down In It

What's the Weather Like: A Warm Place

Favorite Time of Day: The Only Time

If Your Life Was a TV Show, What Would It Be Called: Happiness In Slavery

What Is Life to You: Heresy

Your Relationship: Mr. Self Destruct

Your Fear: Something I Can Never Have

What Is the Best Advice You Have to Give: I Do Not Want This

Thought for the Day: Head Like A Hole

How I Would Like to Die: Last

My Soul's Present Condition: Dead Souls